July 31, 2009 — Santa Monica, CA. While calls to her camp haven’t been returned, Cyndi Lauper has dropped a bomb on the country by saying girls aren’t having fun anymore. And she may pull her hit song “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” from shelves and have it deleted from iPods across the world.
According to sources, Lauper was dining with friends at a Venice Beach bistro when she went on the shocking rant. “Look at Erin Andrews or Kate Gosselin. What about Paris, Britney, Rhianna, Jessica Simpson or Lindsay Lohan? Do you think any of these girls are having fun? They’re not! This isn’t the America I want to live in and I should have never recorded ‘Girls Just Want to Have Fun.’”
As the tirade continued, Lauper added, “Gain 40-pounds and you’re labeled fat. Forget to wear underwear or show your hoo-hahs and you’re a slut. Do drugs, get a DUI, or enter rehab and you’re a celeb-u-wreck. It’s like having fun is a disease or something.” Cyndi’s rant concluded with her blaming everything on the media, the economy, douchebag men, jealous bitches, and George W. Bush.
The reporters here at Thank God For the Internet beg to differ and cite the “Girls Gone Wild” DVDs as proof that girls are still having fun, but we could be wrong. We’ll continue investigating this story and provide updates when news breaks.