April 29, 2009 — Santa Monica, CA. The world is in shock, as doctors say April is dying and she’s in her final hours. “It’s not looking good, unfortunately. We don’t see her lasting through the week,” said Dr. Morganstein.
As news of April’s imminent death spread across the globe, mourners began gathering to pay their final respects to the beloved month. “Words cannot express my sorrow. I don’t understand why she has to go so soon,” said Bill Buckley. Another mourner shared a similar view. “It seems like it was just a few weeks ago when we got to know her. I can’t believe I’ll wake up in two days and she’ll be gone. Life is short and very cruel.”
April’s priest addressed the crowd and asked them to remember the blessings her life brought all of us. “April will soon be in God’s hands, and her passing should remind all of us to live life to its fullest, to love unconditionally, and live by the golden rule.” He continued by saying, “And remember the good times you spent with April. She brought us the Final Four, Easter, High Five Day, some great playoff basketball, the Grilled Cheese Festival in Los Angeles, and some awesome new iPhone apps. She’d like you to remember her with love and carry on her spirit in your life.”
The reporters here at Thank God For the Internet send our deepest condolences to April’s family and friends.