July 24, 2009 — Santa Monica, CA. While fixated on things like health care and global warming, the mainstream media has once again missed the boat.
1. Today is “Tell An Old Joke Day.” The brunette asked the blonde, “Should we cut our pizza into six pieces or twelve?” “Six please,” said the blonde, “we could never eat twelve.” Go tell some jokes today.
2. The Kapuskasing Lumberjack Heritage Festival begins today and runs through the weekend. The festival includes events like The Axe Throw, Chainsaw Bucking, and rolling logs through an obstacle course. How is ESPN not all over this? Men will be throwing axes and they may end up fighting with chainsaws — this makes MMA look like a thumb war — why isn’t this on TV?
3. Today is “Drive-Thru Day.” At an early press conference, President Obama said, “I inherited this economy and the previous administration did nothing to promote the Drive-Thru business. Unless you want the government to spend trillions of dollars bailing out fast food joints, it’s important all Americans go get some fries or a taco immediately. If anyone becomes obese, don’t worry, my health care bill will cover that.”
4. Today is “National Tequila Day.” ‘Nuff said.
The reporters here at Thank God For the Internet will continue to bring you the news you need to know while the mainstream media is asleep at the wheel.