July 21, 2009 — Santa Monica, CA. Two of the most well-intentioned but polarizing forces on earth, Al Gore and PETA, have joined forces with a common and controversial goal: Ban all BBQs in the United States.
At a televised press conference held on the steps of the U.S. Capitol building this morning, the two urged Americans to cease all BBQing for the foreseeable future. On the one hand, Al Gore claims the smoke and heat generated from BBQ grills are contributing to global warming and will further widen the hole in the ozone layer. On the other, PETA considers BBQing to be one of the top killers of animals worldwide.
Helping to whip the crowd into a frenzy, an unidentified PETA supporter began chanting, “Grilling is killing.” And Gore fans could be seen holding signs that read, “Mind Your Ps & Qs, No B-B-Qs.” A Gore representative addressed the crowd and said, “Mother nature has a fever because of our obsession with steaks, burgers, and dogs. We can heal the world by shutting down these green killing grills.”
A PETA representative then took the stage and threw a BBQ grill off the capitol steps. As it landed and broke into hundreds of pieces, the crowd went wild and once again began chanting, “Grilling is killing, grilling is killing.” At this stage, fearing violence may erupt, the secret service was forced to bring the event to a close and send the crowd home.
The reporters here at Thank God For the Internet will continue monitoring this story and provide updates when news breaks.