April 10, 2009 — Santa Monica, CA. ESPN is reporting a major trade took place today at the Fox Broadcasting network. The blockbuster deal has Anoop Desai going from American Idol to Fox’s hit series House, to fill the void left by the death of Dr. Cutner. In return, Randy, Paula, Simon, Kara and Ryan will get free check-ups and flu shots from the award winning doctors.
Sources inside the network said it was a win-win for everyone. The VP of Programming at Fox had these comments on the deal. “This was the perfect trade. It’s uncanny how Anoop and Cutner look alike. People who didn’t see the suicide episode might not even realize a change has been made, and that’s the perfect scenario.” He concluded his remarks by saying, “Anoop had no chance of winning Idol. That’s part of the reason we pulled the trigger. He’s just not a great singer, but the camera loves him and we believe he can be a great doctor.”
Dr. House had this to say about the trade. “As everyone knows, Dr. Cutner committed suicide last week. And while my idiot staff can’t handle their emotions and are still saddened by the event, especially 13 and Foreman, I needed another doctor immediately. But he appears to be as clueless as the others.” Then in true House fashion, he said, “I’ve seen Anoop sing on that dog and pony show. It was like listening to a monkey slaughter. And he thought Simon was tough on him? This is like a gift from God.”
When reached for comment on being shipped to another show, Anoop said, “I don’t know what to say; I’m speechless. I’m going to miss American Idol. And while I’ve always thought being a doctor would be cool, I don’t even know what a differential diagnosis is. I hope Cuddy can keep House off my back until I do some studying.” Anoop finished his interview with a curious question. “By the way, is 13 single again? She’s pretty hot.”
The reporters here at Thank God For the Internet will continue monitoring this story and provide updates when news breaks.